The funniest jokes the internet has to offer.

What word is spelled wrong on every dictionary.

Wrong

Why can you only bring clean magnets to Germany?

They hate the dirty poles.

What is spectacular without the ass?

Pectacular.

My Dr. told me I was going deaf.

That was really hard to hear.

I’ve just found out there’s an actual clinical name for the condition where you can’t sleep and just eat instead

It’s called insom-nom-nom-nom-nia

A mother walks in on her daughter…

having sex with her boyfriend. The mother exclaims, “Well, I never!” The daughter replies, “Mother, you must’ve!”

What do you call a lizard that can punctuate five times in a row?

A comma comma comma comma comma chameleon!

What did the moral philosophy professor say to his friend when he told him to forget ethics for a minute and just go and have some fun?

I Kant.

What do you call a corn that curves at the end?

Jacob

A man is defecating on The Metropolitan Museum of Art stairs.

A passerby asks him: “Excuse me, sir. Which way is Guggenheim Museum?” “You don’t have to walk that far. Just take a shit here.”

How did the farmer hurt himself digging a water well?

He stubbed his toe against the water table.

How many proud boys does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None, democracy dies in darkness

What do you call a horse that likes arts and crafts?

A hobby horse.