The funniest jokes the internet has to offer.

What sexual position *guarantees* the ugliest baby?

Go ask your mother.

Why was yellow afraid of red?

Because red blue green

- Hi, my name is computer.

- Hi, Im virus! Where are you from? - Im from USA. And you? - Im from USB!

Pancakes asks Sausage to go to the movies

Sausage asks: Hey, should we invite Bacon? Pancakes says: Of course! I love Bacon. Sausage asks: What about Eggs? Pancakes shakes his head and says: Nah man, Eggs Benedict lately.

What sound does a Horny Toad make?

RUBBIT

What brand of fabric softener is used on uniforms at the Special Olympics?

Downy

Jesus was the first person to be killed because people didnt like what he was saying

Does that mean he was the first celebrity victim of cancel culture? -Credit to Cunk on Earth

Why does Dr. Pepper come in a can?

His wife died

Which German city smells the nicest?

Cologne

I was having trouble thinking straight, so I told a doctor.

And he said “I can’t help you with that, maybe see somebody else about it.”

l made $48m today and I’m STILL having Burger King for dinner.

Just another day working at the Federal Reserve.

Did you guys hear about the kid born with no eye lids?

They made him some out of his foreskin. he came out a little cock eyed but other than that he’s fine

Whats the difference between a newly released Google product and a house?

Not everything in the house will become a brick within 12months.