The funniest jokes the internet has to offer.
New at better-not-say-it.com: Our hot joke section. Have fun laughing with our sensationally funny jokes:
A black guy, an Asian guy, a Hispanic guy, and a white guy are in a bar...
They all get $500 a month from the government. The white gets mad as hell that the other 3 are getting the same amount that he does. So he starts a campaign that ends the $500 a month. For everyone.
Breaking News
At Miami International Airport today, an individual, later discovered to be a public school teacher, was arrested trying to board a flight while in possession of a compass, a protractor, and a graphical calculator. Authorities believe he is a member of the notorious Al-Gebra movement which has struck terror into the lives of many for generations. He is being charged with carrying weapons of math instruction.
A man is driving up a steep, narrow mountain road and a woman is driving down the same road.
As they pass each other, the woman leans out of the window and yells, "PIG." The man immediately leans out of his window and yells, "BITCH." They continue on their way then. As the man rounds a bend, he suddenly crashes into a pig standing in the middle of the road.
Two guys are talking about sex with their girlfriends.
Says the first guy: “Dude, have you ever tried fucking the other hole?” His buddy is outraged: “Are you crazy? She could get pregnant that way!”
I walked inside an Amish donut shop
Upon arriving the shack, I see the man casually squishing the bread with his armpits. “What the hell are you doing?!” I say, as the man looks at me with a smile and says “Well, we amish don’t use technology around here son, this method gives it the fermentation it needs. “Whatever.” I respond. “I’ll just take the creamed donut over there on display”
People always give DJ Khaled a hard time for saying he refuses to eat pussy. But to be fair…
I wouldn’t want to be a cannibal either.
I was asking someone if the ocean is a soup, they said the question was deep
I said so is the ocean
I decided to do my thesis on procrastination 40 years ago.
Maybe I should start it next week
Your mom says she’s gonna ground you
A week later, you tell your mom you’re getting married and your spouse is pregnant too. You tell her you spent all of your college money on a big house for your new family and got a job at a company. Your mom asks why you’re doing all this and you say, “you said you were gonna ground me. So I grounded myself and now you won’t have to do it.”