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The funniest jokes the internet has to offer.

New at better-not-say-it.com: Our hot joke section. Have fun laughing with our sensationally funny jokes:


Be careful who you buy drugs from. It might be laced. Mine was.

I found marijuana in my cocaine.

Reminder to myself: This is just a draft, don’t post it yet!

Why did the chicken... Reminder to myself: This is just a draft, don’t post it yet! Edit: crap, I accidentally posted it because I didn’t proof-read like most Redditors

Why did the crow refuse to get vaccinated?

He was a corvidiot....

What do you call a cockroach who likes to watch his wife get smashed?

A Cuck Roach.

I was digging in our garden and found a chest full of gold

I wanted to run straight home to tell my wife about it, but then I remembered why I was digging our garden in the first place

whats the difference between a tire and 365 used condoms

ones a goodyear the others a GREAT year

I went to the US Embassy for a visa interview…

Officer: Where are you planning on going in the US? Me: San Jose. Officer: It’s pronounced as “San Hosey”. The J is pronounced as H in the US. Me: Oh okay, I didn’t know that. Officer: So how long do you plan to be in the US? Me: 7 months, from Hanuary to Huly.

People don’t believe me that I’m always eating rope which looks like the 21st letter of the alphabet

I shit U knot

Why do rednecks never say never

They only know one n-word

i just learned that Darth Vader loved watching silly comedies.

May the farce be with you.

Why was the report card wet?

Because the grades were below C level

I just realized why all my abortion jokes bomb...

...because they never deliver. *ba dum pish* As opposed to dead baby jokes, which never get old.

When you want to pull away or withdraw, she holds you tight

My brother just whispered into her ear; you will raise this child alone

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