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The funniest jokes the internet has to offer.

New at better-not-say-it.com: Our hot joke section. Have fun laughing with our sensationally funny jokes:


My doctor says I have a narcissistic personality disorder.

But that’s impossible - as the smartest man alive I would have notice.

A woman fell out of her coffin on the way to the funeral...

She was drop dead gorgeous.

“I’m the alpha werewolf!”

“That’s not how wolves work Jon, you’re just a dick.”

A retired police officer passed away. The chief of police...

made a speech at the funeral and said “may he arrest in peace”

From an old Italian book

Husband and wife are sleeping on their bed. Suddenly, the woman, having a dream, starts to yell: "Oh god! My husband is coming" The husband jumps from the bed and without even thinking runs to the wardrobe

What did the Australian skeptical of Scandinavia say?

Nor way?!

9 out of 10 dentists recommend Sensodyne.

But somehow Colgate is the No. 1 brand recommended by dentists.

A horse walks into a bar

Bartender says “why the long face?” the horse says “if you think my face is long, you should see my cock”.

What do bent lines and wartorn countries have in common?

Crooked Rulers.

They told me I have to do sexual harassment training at work

Which is ridiculous, I’m already very good at it.

Did you hear about the farmer whose wife left him for a traveling tractor salesman?

She wrote him a John Deere letter.

If at first you don’t succeed.

Suck harder.

I asked my friend when their birthday was.

He said March 1st. I stood up, walked around the room, and asked again

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