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The funniest jokes the internet has to offer.

New at better-not-say-it.com: Our hot joke section. Have fun laughing with our sensationally funny jokes:


A race horse was injured, and was in no condition to continue

He was taken back to the stud, where he is in a stable condition

Man goes to a job interview

A man goes to a job interview. The interview is nearing the end and going great when the interviewer asked the man “what do you think your biggest weakness would be?” Man: “my biggest weakness? Well I guess I’d have to say my honesty.” Interviewer: “your honesty? I don’t think you being too honest will be a problem around here” Man: “hey buddy, I don’t give a fuck what you think.”

I forgot what number 7 ate so I asked my German friend if he knew

He didn’t seem to remember either

My sister went to the shop so I asked her to get 8 cans of Coke

But when she returned I realised she had only picked 7up

Handle if you can

Why can’t you trust zookeepers? Because they love cheetahs

Our soccer team is so bad that our opponents hit the bar three times in the first half of today’s match.

They could have at least waited till the end to celebrate.

To show support to Pride parade my company promised to give every employee a $100 bonus

But none of us has received anything. But probably we shouldn’t complain, since it seems the $100 is following the pride parade principle: it’s somewhere around the rainbow.

I accidentally sprayed deodrant in my mouth

Now I have a weird axe scent

Third time is the charm

Not for the Reich.

Why did the 19th century criminal profiler read Macbeth?

To learn that there is no art to find a mind’s construction in a face.

My ex said she wanted to talk because she needed closure. So...

I handed her a box of Ziploc® bags and told her to fuck off.

My husband calls me a sex object

Everytime he wants sex, I object

Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.

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