The funniest jokes the internet has to offer.
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The cows that my friend owned were killed off by a sandstorm
It was an udder disaster
A toothbrush salesman had a booth on a street corner.
One day he was approached by a man looking for a job. The salesman, skeptical of this random person’s sales ability, agreed that if the man could sell 100 toothbrushes in a day, that he could have the job. At the end of the day the man approached him saying “I’ve sold all 100 toothbrush, can I have the job?” Both shocked and impressed, the salesman agreed to give him a job and told him to meet him at the same street corner the next day. The man showed up the next day and sold 150 toothbrushes this time. Day after day the two men met and day after day the man sold hundreds of toothbrushes; quickly becoming the business’s top salesman. The original salesman grew increasingly curious on how the man was able to sell so many damn toothbrushes. So one day instead of manning his booth he followed the man after he picked up his daily stock of toothbrushes. After following him across the city, they finally came to a different street corner where the man set up a booth with a large cake on the table and a sign that said “Free Slices of Cake.” After a few minutes a person walking down the street began to pass the booth, the man asked “hey would you like a slice of cake?” The walker replied “Free? Absolutely!” he accepted his slice and took a large bite and immediately spat it on the ground. “What the hell this? It tastes like SHIT!” “It is shit, want to buy a toothbrush?”
Can’t believe the Queen is dead
Cant believe the Queen is dead, I loved Bohemian Rhapsody
D&D stages of Marriage
Step 1- Charm person Dating Services Step 2- Hold person Wedding Chapel Step 3- Remove Curse Divorce Attorney
In a fight between Chuck Norris and Superman, Chuck Norris stabs Superman
Then Chuck Norris removes out a Kryptonite from his pocket.
One gardener asks another for advice about putting down sod
“Can you help me with this? I’m not sure what I’m doing wrong. I keep trying to lay this sod down, but I can’t get it to lay flat,” he confessed. The other gardener observed as he attempted to lay down the sheet of grass and came to a helpful conclusion. The gardener explained, “Well, you are standing up and need to get closer to the ground. Kneel before sod.”
Why do black peoples always complain about rights
They already have the right to remain silent
I have recently become known among friends and neighbors for being ruthless....
​ Stupid description for someone whose wife is named Ruth and who has filed for divorce.
What did the prostitute deer say when leaving the bar
“I can’t believe I blew thirty bucks in there”