The funniest jokes the internet has to offer.

At a university there was a dean who cared about others and showed exemplary behavior. One day an angel appeared at a faculty conference.

The angel said as a reward for his good deeds that God would give him his choice of eternal riches, eternal wisdom, or eternal beauty. The dean chose eternal wisdom without hesitation. "Good," said the angel, disappearing into a cloud of smoke. Everyone present turned their gazes to the dean, who was illuminated by a faint halo. A colleague whispered, "Tell me something." The dean, who had gained eternal wisdom, sighed and said, "I should have chosen eternal riches."

Why do trees make bad detectives?

They always get stumped!

If fruit is a slang term for a gay person and vegetable is a slang term for a person in a wheelchair...

Does that make a gay person in a wheel chair a tomato?

The difference between Juan and John.

Juan crosses the border looking for a job. John crosses the border looking for a blow job.

My terrorist friend will not allow me to count my red LEGOs

He must be a fan of the tally ban.

My husband came back with a prescription for Dailysex

I had to tell him it was for Dyslexia

it is better for a Russian to turn off your gas than for a German to turn it on for you

(Black humor)

What do you call a rapper who wants to sit next to you on the couch?

Scucci Mane

Toast, bread and crust

Piece of toast 1: why don’t they make toasters that don’t burn the toast Piece of toast 2: I was thinking the same thing. You b-read my mind. Piece of toast 1: crust me, I came up with it myself

In America, you go to recruitment office

In Russia, recruitment office go to you!

I like my woman how I like my wine.

12 years old and in my basement.

What is the difference between Putin and Zelynskii?

Putin plays Russia like a fiddle. Zelynskii plays Russia like a piano.

Have you met Meech?

Mi Chorizo. Jajajaja.