The funniest jokes the internet has to offer.
New at better-not-say-it.com: Our hot joke section. Have fun laughing with our sensationally funny jokes:
My dad said, “Son, I invested in the tobacco companies so I could feel good when someone blows smoke on me.”
so I said “well Dad I invested in Grindr so I could feel good when someone fucks me in the ass.”
All of the toilets were stolen from the police station.
Detectives have nothing to go on.
I didn’t know what I was going to eat yesterday, until I opened the fridge
That’s when I saw the light
I really feel lonely and alone after an intense break up with my girlfriend.
I have no one to talk about it, not even with my wife.
A friend of mine said onions are the only food that can make him cry.
So I hit him in the face with a watermelon.
A man goes to a priest to confess
A man goes to a priest to confess. “Forgive me father, for I have sinned.”- says the man. “What did you sin, my son?” - the priest asks him. “Well, me and my wife went to my sister-in-law for dinner, we had dinner, then as soon as we were going to go home, the weather, father, it was getting cloudy and it look like it was about to rain, so my sister-in-law asked us to stay for the night.”- says the man. “Then what happened?”- asks the priest. “Well, we took her up on her offer then later at night I got the urge to fuck my sister-in-law, so I did.”- says the man. “My son, that’s a big sin you have done, ask God for forgiveness and he may forgive you.”- says the priest. “Thank you father but that’s not all.”- the man said back. “What else is there my son.” - the priest asks him. “Well after a few weeks, my mother-in-law invited us to dinner, and after dinner, it was getting cloudy and was about to rain again, so my mother-in-law asked us to stay overnight, that night I got the urge to fuck her, and so I did.”- confesses the man. The priest looks out outside and it sees the sky about to get cloudy turns to the man and says “ Okay I think it’s about time for you to get the fuck outta here”
[OC] i just realized Dwayne Johnson was living above my appartment.
i was living under The Rock for a very long time.
I always explain things so the stupidest person in the room can understand
But for some reason I always end up talking to myself.
I took a few pages from Moby Dick and boiled them to see what it tasted like.
It was just okay, but I might not do it again. It was a novel tea.