The funniest jokes the internet has to offer.
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What do you call a giant psychic who manipulates the stock market.
A tall medium who shorts.
I needed some help on a paper for my art history class and I asked my mom to lend an ear…
She told me it was in the van, go!
Mickey and Minnie Mouse go to couples therapy
Mickey tells the therapist about Minnie’s behavior and says he wants a divorce. The therapist says “Just because she’s been acting a bit weird doesn’t mean you should get a divorce.” Mickey angrily responds “I didn’t say she was acting weird! I said she was fucking Goofy!”
"What will life in Russia be like in 2023?"
"It will be worse than 2022 but better than 2024"
One day, a six foot tall, 225 lb man….
One day, a six foot tall, 225 lb man wearing dark khaki pants, a sky-blue twill dress shirt, a pair of Addidas tennis shoes and a baseball-style cap, and carrying a box of first edition copies of Dianetics by L Ron Hubbard, all unsigned by the author, along with a number of jars of recently cured deer meat collected in a tote bag slung across his left shoulder, all while listening to Depeche Mode’s first album - Speak & Spell - walked into a bar. “That’s okay,” said another six foot tall, 225 lb man wearing dark khaki pants, a sky-blue twill dress shirt, a pair of Addidas tennis shoes, and a baseball-style cap, and carrying a box of first edition copies of Dianetics by L Ron Hubbard, all unsigned by the author, along with a number of jars of recently cured deer meat collected in a tote bag slung across his left shoulder, all while listening to Depeche Mode’s first album, “I didn’t see it either.” Soon after, a six foot tall, 225 lb dog wearing dark khaki pants, a sky-blue twill dress shirt, a pair of Addidas tennis shoes, and a baseball-style cap, and carrying a box of first edition copies of Dianetics by L Ron Hubbard, all unsigned by the author, along with a number of jars of recently cured deer meat collected in a tote bag slung across his left shoulder, all while listening to Depeche Mode’s first album - Speak & Spell - walked into a bar, sat down at a stool and ordered a rusty nail. The bartender said, “That’s amazing! You should go down to the circus! They’d love to hire you.” “How come,” asked the six foot tall, 225 lb dog wearing dark khaki pants, a sky-blue twill dress shirt, a pair of Addidas tennis shoes, and a baseball-style cap, and carrying a box of first edition copies of Dianetics by L Ron Hubbard, all unsigned by the author, along with a number of jars of recently cured deer meat collected in a tote bag slung across his left shoulder, all while listening to Depeche Mode’s first album - Speak & Spell. “Do they need an accountant?”
Why did the female Easter Bunny not have children?
She put all her eggs in one basket.
Holiday experience.
I went to bed with 2 girls from Thailand last night. It was amazing, it was like winning the lottery. We had six balls between us.