The funniest jokes the internet has to offer.

What do you call a trans woman?

An X-man.

What should you call your eunuch servant?

Anything you like. He is not coming.

Did you hear about the time that Lars Ulrich played a minister on Sesame Street?

He was the Pastor of Muppets.

Want Some Peanuts

Grandma used to keep a bowl of peanuts next to her bed to hand out. Then we found out she was just eating the chocolate off them.

Did you know diarrhea is hereditary?

Yep!!! It runs in your jeans.

I can’t believe how much balloons cost now

They have really inflated in price

So this guy walks into a church...

So this guy walks into a church. He goes up to the priest and says: “Look, I’m struggling a lot lately, trying to understand the universe, and our place in existence and all that. None of the stories I’ve heard satisfy me. Can you just tell me honestly – where did this world come from?” The priest looks at him for a moment and replies: “So you really want to know how this world came to be? You want to hear the real creation story?” “Yes I do!” the man pleads. “OK…” The priest pauses then in a solemn reverential tone he begins: *“In the beginning, God said:…”* “What did God say?” the man asks. Another pause, then the priest continues: *“‘So this guy walks into a church…’”*

yep

How do you get 1 pound of meat out of a fly?? You unzip it...

After considering and pondering it, I decided to turn myself into the police today.

It was fun while it lasted pulling people over and collecting drugs, but totally not worth getting busted for impersonation.

What did Sean Connery say when he contemplated converting to Judaism and heard a ram’s horn being blown during a New Year’s service?

Shofar, shogood.

America finally took down the Chinese air balloon

Good to see Joe Biden fighting inflation

What’s the difference between weed and pussy?

If you can smell weed from across the room that means it’s good.

What does Batman likes to put in his drink?

Just ice