The funniest jokes the internet has to offer.

What do you call a one legged Eskimo with hemorrhoids?

A one step polaroid…

What do you call an Alabaman with botched plastic surgery?

A bad-ass motherfucker.

Why do mice have such small balls?

Because not many of them know how to dance.

Q. Why were photographs so depressing before digital cameras were invented?

A. Because they spent too much time processing the negatives.

Question...

What did one beer mat say to the other? Drinks are on me!

So do you use Celsius or Fahrenheit?

"So do you use Celsius or Fahrenheit?" "I use Melvin." "You mean Kelvin?" "Nah mate. Melvin. YO MELVIN! IS IT COLD OUTSIDE!?"

Former Baseball star Craig Biggio is being charged in the murder of well known local radio personality

Biggio killed the radio star

What’s the best job for someone with a humiliation kink?

Customer service.

A quadruple amputee joined Costco but when they found out…

…he was dismembered.

What’s the difference between in-laws and outlaws?

Outlaws are wanted!

Batman & Robin

Robin: Batman, we have a big problem! I can`t get the batmobile to start! Batman: Maybe it has a dead battery. Robin: What`s a, "Tery?"

I came home from the bar the last night and was met by my wife asking, " WHAT DO YOU MEAN COMING HOME HALF DRUNK?!?!"

I said, "I ran out of money!"

I used to be a lifeguard at a public pool....

Until this blue kid got me fired.