The funniest jokes the internet has to offer.
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Sean Connery was the original choice to play Sebastian in The Little Mermaid
He turned the role down because, he said, "as a child I was always told not to be shellfish."
‘Just say NO to drugs!’
Well… If I’m talking to my drugs, I probably already said yes…
An elderly Jew bolts into a church confessional
St Patrick’s Cathedral. He pulls the curtain and says , “Father. My name is Saul Hershkowitz. I’m 73 years old and I’ve been with a 22 year old girl. The priest says “Saul, wait a minute. You’re Jewish. Why are you telling me this? And the man says “Hey Father, I’m telling everybody”
What’s the difference between two American Indians in a canoe and two Dutchmen in a restaurant?
There’s a chance the Indians will tip.
"I took my date to the bar last night. It was very romantic. I got us a table and ordered a brandy."
"Snifter?" "No, we just held hands."
My girlfriend told me she’s sad because she’s put on a bit of weight
I told her to keep her chins up