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The funniest jokes the internet has to offer.

New at better-not-say-it.com: Our hot joke section. Have fun laughing with our sensationally funny jokes:


Sean Connery was the original choice to play Sebastian in The Little Mermaid

He turned the role down because, he said, "as a child I was always told not to be shellfish."

You made her a steak? Well, did it win her over??

Hopefilet!

A lollipop asks a chocolate bars pronouns.

The bar says its prounouns are her/shey

‘Just say NO to drugs!’

Well… If I’m talking to my drugs, I probably already said yes…

What do you call a farmer that strips naked for filming?

A corn star

what do German call techno music ?

techNIEN

An elderly Jew bolts into a church confessional

St Patrick’s Cathedral. He pulls the curtain and says , “Father. My name is Saul Hershkowitz. I’m 73 years old and I’ve been with a 22 year old girl. The priest says “Saul, wait a minute. You’re Jewish. Why are you telling me this? And the man says “Hey Father, I’m telling everybody”

How do monsters watch TV?

They use a screaming service.

I accidentally sent my ex-girlfriend flowers over the internet.

Whoops, e-daises.

What’s the difference between two American Indians in a canoe and two Dutchmen in a restaurant?

There’s a chance the Indians will tip.

"I took my date to the bar last night. It was very romantic. I got us a table and ordered a brandy."

"Snifter?" "No, we just held hands."

Swimming is very good for you.

Especially if you are drowning.

My girlfriend told me she’s sad because she’s put on a bit of weight

I told her to keep her chins up

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