The funniest jokes the internet has to offer.

wife sends her husband to be the store to get bread. tells him, "and if they have eggs, get a dozen".

Husband returns with 12 loaves of bread.

The Nun asked, "Should I take out the ruler?"

{insert answer here}

Scientists have just discovered a fossilised dinosaur fart.

They say it’s a blast from the past.

My Girlfriend finally left her ex-lover for me

I was on top of her, naked. We were about to start having sex. "Go on. Fuck me harder than your father with your hot, pulsating dick" Shocked my mouth opened wide at her words. "Damn bitch, Our father just died recently"

I visited Scotland last week

I was surprised by how many people spoke fluent English

My gf enjoys neck kisses.

But for some reason, she hates it when I call myself a neck romancer.

My grandmother lived to 98 and she never needed glasses.

She preferred to drink straight from the bottle.

What does a stoner order from Subway?

The meatball marijuana.

I’m going to post a brilliant and original joke…

As soon as I sort by Top and copy then paste.

I used to get heartburn when I ate birthday cake

Until my doctor advised me to take the candles off first. Happy cake day to me!

What are Michael Jacksons pronouns?

He/He

New rumors about Will Smith at the Oscar night.

Friends of the family claims that he was so drunk he ended having sex with his own wife.

Minnie Mouse went insane and had an affair.

She was fucking Goofy.