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The funniest jokes the internet has to offer.

New at better-not-say-it.com: Our hot joke section. Have fun laughing with our sensationally funny jokes:


What is the difference between an immortal man and a baby in the womb?

The man has a Higher chance of survival.

How is the titanic like the sixth sense?

Icy dead people

a joke

Whats long and brown and sticky?????? ​ ​ A stick

How does the Catholic Church find new priests?

A sex offender registry!

The bands Def Leppard and Blind Melon did a collaboration.

They called the song “Helen Keller”. Courtesy of my adult daughter onto which my ‘dad humor’ has clearly rubbed off!!

im so stoned

i just got back from iraq

How do you kill a French vampire?

You have to stab him/her with a baguette. It sounds easy, but the process is painstaking.

Why did the kid drop his ice-cream?

He got hit by a bus.

Why is it that when I eat people, I get arrested...

But when the Donners eat people, they get a Pass!

3 nuns in line for confession.

The first nun says “forgive me father for I have sinned. I touched a man’s penis with my hand”. The priest says “ say 10 Hail Marys and wash your hand in holy water.” The third nun hears this, jumps in front of the second nun and says “Can I wash my mouth out before she washes her ass?”

Did you hear about the tires made out of old clothes?

If one blows, you just change attire

If Bill Gates gets into a scandal, it will be called

Gates Gates

Did you hear about the time an MMA fighter got an erection and used it to ram his opponent?

That was a real dick move!

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