The funniest jokes the internet has to offer.

joke

I treat my woman like I treat my mental health I neglect them untile they become a problem

What does a burnt rodent and Star-Lord from Guardians of the Galaxy have in common?

They’re both Crisp Rats

I stopped paying attention to movie reviews after critics raved about The Green Mile.

Great concept, but terrible execution.

What did the autopsy doctors say when operating on a woman who was in the military?

Thank you for your cervix.

How can a farmer pick up a woman?

A tractor

We shouldn’t have let this duck move in with us

He uses too much fowl language and deals quack cocaine

A family of jelly beans were arguing with their photographer because he gave them a black and white photo

But the photographer disagreed , ‘I doubt if you really want to show your true colors in the family photo!’

went to get gas the other day.

It was so expensive They had a layaway plan.

How do you get the attention of a pervert? [NSFW]

Use an NSFW tag

Yet another…..

Amber Heard‘s bed said, “I need some rest, I’m so pooped”.

What did the mustard say to the tomato for being a slow walker?

“Cmon! You need to *ketchup*!!”

As a conservative, watching these pro-abortion protests has convinced me that we should allow abortion.

They definitely should not be allowed to have kids.

We should seriously reconsider the way we name serial killers...

Because "small pee pee man with mommy issues" would be a good deterrant.