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Learned this one when I was 5

The elephant said to the camel: Haha! You have your tits on your back! Then the camel answered: So what? You have your dick om your face! (it was hilarious when I was 5, and I still giggle a bit when remembering it)

My buddy asked me if I could sleep with somebody dead of alive, who would it be?

I said obviously somebody alive.

A woman was rushed to the hospital after stuffing 30 toy horses up her ass...

Her condition is stable.

I went to see the doctor and told him that I’m obsessed with The Wizard of Oz. He asked me why?

I sez “Because,because, because…”

Donald Trump’s first wife has passed away...

She wasn’t the first Czech that Donald bounced.

When you make a lady of the night mad….

That’s Thot-provoking

What do you call an insect that can’t make up its mind?

A Maybee

I tried to warn my son about playing Russian Roulette.

It went in one ear and out the other.

welcome to the abortion clinic

stay on the line somebody will be with you in a sec.

The pen

A Doctor was walking down a corridor. A nurse is walking towards him. When they meet, she asks him, "why do you have a thermometer behind your ear"? The Doctor said, "oh shit, some asshole has my pen".

Alabama

Why do people in Alabama not do "reverse cowgirl"? You never turn your back on family.

Why was Martin Luther so against indulgences?

They were making false profits

I went to the dentist on the Indian Reservation.

Came back with some Sioux veneers.

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