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What do you call a hierarchy of writers?

An AUTHORity

A battleship seeing light in front of them

They immediately say it loud on the speakers,”We are a battleship, turn and make way for us.” The light source replied,”No, u are the one to turn!” The battleship commander got furious so he decided to speak up,”We are from the almighty fleet of [Country], turn or we would crash u!” The light source responded,”Well, the almighty fleet, we are a lighthouse.”

How do you make a woman angry when you tell a joke?

Hold on, she’s still trying to decide if she’s offended

(NSFW) What do perverts use to clean?

Vacum

The smallest penis

*John: insert name of person you tell the joke to. So three guys sits at a bar. First one goes - “I have the smallest feet in the world!” The other guys take a look at his feet and acknowledges his statement - “sure you’re feet must be the smallest in the world!” Second guy then says - “well, I have the smallest hands in the world!” The other guys take a look at his hands and acknowledges his statement - “sure you’re hands must be the smallest in the world!” Third guy takes down his pants and shows his penis, saying - “sure you have the smallest feet and hands. But I have the smallest penis in the world!” The other guys take a look and sure - “this must be the smallest penis in the world!” The next day the three guys confidently decides to check their statements and goes to the Guinness world records to make it official. First guy comes out happy and screams - “yes! I have the worlds smallest hands!” Second guy equally happy - “it’s official! I have the worlds smallest feet!” Third guy comes out looking not as happy. With an angry slur shouts - “who the f@#% is *John!” Tell the joke to someone and replace John with their name.

What did Adam say to Eve while she was giving him a blowjob?

“Don’t even think about it, bitch!”

How do a Non-Binary samurai kills people ?

They slash Them

What do women call a man shorter than them ?

A friend !

tell me your best dark humor joke

warning, some may be offence, but they are jokes

I recently turned myself into the police

Ironically, got me arrested

What cheese is made backwards?

Edam.

What would 1D be called if they were a Christian rock band?

Monogamy

why did the crow land on the telephone pole?

He wanted to make a long distance caw

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