The funniest jokes the internet has to offer.
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Caitlyn Jenner just announced a secret that she’s been hiding.
Bruce has been fondling her for years.
It’s no good dividing by zero
You might disagree, but let’s not start an argument over nothing.
Little Timmy learns something
One day little timmys dad asks him what he learnt in school that day. Little Timmy says: "Well, my teacher was mad as hell at me today." His dad asks:"Why was that?" "Well," says Little Timmy "she showed us two glasses filled with water and whiskey and then she put two worms in them. The worm in the whiskey died. She asked me what I learnt and I said "Whiskey sure is great way to kill the worms in your body."
Trump’s third marriage is successful for one simple reason:
He and Melania agreed to have sex in different locations.
Bert’s new boots
Bert, 80, always wanted a pair of authentic cowboy boots. So, seeing some on sale, he bought them and wore them home: Walking proudly, he sauntered into the kitchen and said to his wife. “Notice anything different about me?” Margaret, 75, looked him over. “Nope.” Frustrated, Bert stormed off into the bathroom, undressed and walked back into the kitchen completely naked except for the boots. Again he asked Margaret, a little louder this time. “Notice anything different NOW?” Margaret looked up and said in her best deadpan. “Bert, what’s different? It’s hanging down today, it was hanging down yesterday, it’ll be hanging down again tomorrow.” Furious, Bert yelled. “AND DO YOU KNOW WHY IT’S HANGING DOWN, MARGARET?” “Nope. Not a clue.” She replied. “IT’S HANGING DOWN, BECAUSE IT’S LOOKING AT MY NEW BOOTS!!” Without missing a beat, Margaret replied. “Shoulda bought a hat, Bert! You shoulda bought a hat.”
What do you call something that disappears when brown people become good at it?
A sport from the Common Wealth Games list of events.
There was a young man named Antonio.
He had deep, Italian origins, despite living in downtown California. Eventually, his mother got sick and that added on to the debt they already had. The only way Antonio could solve the problem was to make money, so he started a band. He settled on Jamaican-style music with very chill vibes. He made a few friends named Lasagne Del Ray and Orzo Osborne and eventually released an album that hit top 10 in charts worldwide. Unfortunately, the medication he purchased to save his mother did not work. As she lay on her deathbed, he held her hand and kissed her cheek. With tears in his eyes, he leant down to speak to his mother for the last time and he said, “I tried to save you, but instead, the entire world knows me as Reggae Toni”.
Sorry, I’m french Canadian. Why isn’t there any RSS reader app called URSS?
RSS feeds.
pussy.
Smoking cigarettes is like eating pussy, the taste gets stronger the closer you get to the butt.
God: “Let there be light”
Also God 10 seconds later: “Shit, not that much light. Holy fuck!”