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Why do trans women go by she/her?

Because if they went by her/she they’d be a chocolate.

the ring

My girlfriend got really excited last night when I went down on one knee and handed her the Ring. We take vintage horror movie night very seriously.

What do girls at a party and a parking lot have in common

When the good ones are all gone, you can slip it in the disabled one.

Customer asked the waiter

- Why this water is so expensive? - Because this water is sparkling water. - Why this water and air is so expensive?

How many songs do you need to write if you really want to make some money with them?

Four tunes.

Motion is relative...

is just another way of saying your family is shit

Did you hear that the next season of Stranger Things will be shot in Australia?

The kids have to defeat a monster from the Right Way Up.

How are Kobe Bryant and Melania Trump similar?

They both made fortunes just by playing with orange balls.

My friend and I were talking about pirated movie in China

Friend: I can watch a whole movie on Bilbili Me: There are basically no Copyright in China, because the people there have no right. Friend: So they left with copy. And they think copy is right

What’s green and fuzzy and smells like Mrs. piggy?

Kermit the frog’s fingers

Have you heard about the joke about the inner eye?

It’s aqueous humor.

I swallowed a scuba diver yesterday

Now I have diverticulitis

Why did the stair contractor get in so many fights?

He kept asking people if they want a step outside.

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