The funniest jokes the internet has to offer.

Someone once told me, “GO FOR BROKE!”

I’m unhappy to report that I succeeded.

Everyone knows Al Pacino, the famous Hollywood icon.

No one talks about his brother Cap, who invented delicious Italian coffee.

How does a woman hold her liquor?

By the ears...

Got dared to eat a whole box of glitter and ended up in hospital

It was pretty shit.

My wife told me to stop impersonating a flamingo

I had to put my foot down.

Why did the chicken cross the road?

Because I was delusional!

My therapist just diagnosed me with bipolar disorder and extreme indecisiveness.

I don’t know whether to laugh or cry.

I feel like, in mythology, Neptune is just a copy of Poseidon

Like whoever created Neptune literally read what Poseidon’s main powers were and was like “Ctrl C”

Why do Christians think Amish girls are sluts?

Too mennonite

Two women were chatting in the airport lounge…

The younger one says “I must be jet lagged, I went to get my ticket to Pittsburgh and asked for a picket to dicksburgh” The older one replies and says “I know what you mean, I called my husband to remind him to take out the trash and instead said ’you ruined my life you drunken bastard’”

Asking kids what do they want to grow up to be

meant something entirely different two decades ago.

I like my women like my electric cars.

I plug in to recharge.

There once was a Thebian klutz,

Who in the Styx washed all but his butt, But he missed the testi-clees, And his name was Bophedes, And that’s the story of Bophedes’ nuts