The funniest jokes the internet has to offer.

John hired a new secretary...

John hired a new secretary... She was the most beautiful blonde that John have ever see in his entire life, so he hired her in an 1 min interview. In the afternoon that the secretary had her first day, John got a call from one of his clients. Client: John, wtf, why are you sending me the same invoice by fax for 30 times? Did I not pay you on time last month? John: Yes, you did, but I would not do that to you. Let me check with my fax machine. John checked the fax machine and it has no problem at all. He then asked the new secretary, "Did you fax this invoice to our client 30 times?" Secretary: No, boss. The invoice is still here, you are still holding it. The fax machine rejected and returned it to me for 30 times with some weird noise, it was never sent to the client.

9 out of 10 recommend

What’s the best way to get “fresh from the dentist” feeling every time you brush? Only do it once a week

A man has found a lamp with a Gene, but he was granted with only 1 wish.

-"Only one wish..? Then I wish to end world hunger!" -"So be it." Then the Gene snapped his fingers and told the man to check out the news. The man took his phone and checked the news. "BREAKING NEWS! Millions of people in Africa suddenly disappeared!"

I used to know a racist with acne.

He was always messing with the wrong skin.

My cousin was hospitalized after shoving 15 plastic horses up his rectum.

Doctors described his condition as stable.

What do you call a threat of violence posted on a bulletin board?

Under a tack.

What do you call a dog with COVID?

a SCOVIDdo

Do they allow loud laughing in Hawaii?

Or just a low, ha?

A man summons a genie from a lamp

The genie says he’ll grant 3 wishes.The man’s first wish is for infinite wishes.Well the genie tells the man that he can’t wish for more wishes.So the man wishes for an umbrella.The genie does so and then ask “Why do you need an umbrella?”.The man then says “Now shove it up your ass”. With a painful groan the genie does so.He then says “Okay weirdo,what next?”. The man then says “Now give me more wishes before I make you open the umbrella”

What does 90 year old pussy smell like?

Depends

I was up in the mountains of Arizona

It was a chilly day and as my buddy and I were driving they had a warning sign that “ICE MAY BE PRESENT”. I thought it was strange we were warning immigrants.

Sex is like Chess

Every move you can think of already got a name

My wife has this amazing seashell tattoo on her thigh. If you put your ear on it, I swear to god:

You can smell the sea!