The funniest jokes the internet has to offer.

Jewish boy asks his dad to borrow 50 dollars.

Jewish dad: "40 dollas!? Whaddya need 30 dollas for!?"

The Florida / Florida State rivalry...

briefly extended to sports drinks. The University of Florida created Gatorade, Florida State came back with Seminole Fluid.

Sometimes being cute is like having diarrhea.

Sometimes shit just runs in your genes.

What does penis and tennis gave in common?

Nothing one is spirt and one is a cock

What do you call a Youtuber who clickbaits all the time and gets millions of views?

A masturbater.

Kidnappers

Wife asks husband: W : If kidnappers took me and your mother, who would you be more afraid for? H : For Kidnappers.

Tell a man a joke

And he will tell it to literally everyone he knows

Why are blondes safe in a zombie apocalypse?

Because zombies only eat brains.

Yo mama!

Yo mama is so ugly she got nominated for best zombie actor in the walking dead series Yo mama is so dumb when she heard about Britney Spears she went to a fencing tournament to find Britney Yo mama is so fat that when she went to get her baptism, she went to sea world

So my girlfriend broke up with me today

She said she wants to work it out with her husband

How deep is a frog pond?

Knee-deep. Knee-deep.

I told my new flat mate that she reminded me of my little toe. “Is it because I’m small and cute?” she asked....

I replied “No, it’s because when I get drunk I’ll surely end up banging you on the coffee table...”

Where did the baseball player eat?

answer: *behind the plate*