The funniest jokes the internet has to offer.

What does k-pop and a terminally ill cancer patient have in common?

euthenasia

I just read that someone in London gets stabbed every 52 seconds.

Poor guy.

Confucius say:

Man who try to pick up two chicks, only gets cock in hand.

My joke is like a vagina

Because you would never get it

(Short) Dirty Joke

Police have issued a city-wide statement: "Approximately an hour ago two thieves ran off with multiple pounds of Viagra" They say to keep an eye out for two hardened criminals...

White did the white car cut off the green car?

White supremacy.

bar joke

CW: Construction worker B: Bartender A construction worker walks into a bar and he asks for ten drinks. When he finishes them, he goes: CW: Can I have ten more? B: I thought you might have been **hammered** by now!

Do you know why cemeteries have fences?

Because everyone is dying to get in.

Did you guys hear about the tiny psychic that escaped from prison?

It’s a small medium at large.

Bo Burnham made me believe comedy could heal the world.

Then some dumbass recommended me an Amy Schumer special.

Dad and the killer

One kid lost his father 2 days ago and and the homeless killer that killed the father knocks at the door. The kid says " Who is this" , the killer responds " Surely not your father"

Why did Ben Affleck call a combination priest/life coach when he saw his friends family was gaining weight?

He wanted to exercise the Damons

Deserted island

A man is on an island he found his phone and calls help the man on the phone says help me im on an island T The man of the rescue team asked where he was The other man says on an island When the man of the rescue team asked where the island was he said In the sea