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I have a dwarf friend at work. He’s a bit of a celebrity around these parts.
Even with all that, he’s a very down to earth guy
A little incompatibility is the spice of life,
as long as he has income and she is pattable.
The Nun’s Legs
A young man, perhaps in his twenties rushes up to the nun standing at the side of the road. He asks hurriedly “Sister, I know this is incredibly rude but I have a favor to ask of you. Please let me hide under your skirt for a few minutes.” The nun is very confused but the man looks very worried and very pitiful, so she lifts up her skirt and the man slips in. Only minutes later two older men in Army uniform rush by and ask the nun “Erm, excuse me sister, have you seen a young man rush by here just now? He’s been conscripted to the army and we are chasing him because he keeps running away.” The nun replies “Yes, he went that way.” Pointing in the opposite direction. The two men thank her and run off. The young man, as soon as the two officer leave, crawls back out of the dress and stands up. “Thank you, sister! I really don’t want to join the army. If you don’t mind me saying it, you have a great pair of legs!” The nun replies “If you looked a bit higher there, you would also have seen a great pair of balls. I also don’t want to join the army either!”
Why did Star Wars Episodes 4, 5 & 6 come out before 1,2 & 3?
Because in charge of directing, Yoda was.
An attractive college student went to visit her elderly professor in his office.
​ She said, "professor, I really need to pass your final exam to graduate. I will do literally anything you want if you will pass me in this class." He replied, "Anything?" "Anything you want, I will do," she said with a flirtatious smile. "Here is what you can do," he said, returning her smile. "Study your ass off."
Most billionaires are really just rounded up millionaires.
The haves and the have yachts.
People always get shocked....
.... when they realise I’m not a very good electrician
A man was in a very attractive female doctor’s office….
She said “you’ve got to stop masturbating”. He said “why so?” “Because I’m trying to examine you”