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I wanted to tell you all about this concept called nihilism.
But eh- it doesn’t matter.
A guy walks into a bar with a steering wheel attached to his groin. The bartender points it out to him.
He says. “ I know, it’s driving me nuts”.
what does the boy give?
If a girl giving a head to a guy is called a blowjob. What would a guy giving head to a girl called? Dissapointment.
I just converted to Frisbeeterianism
We believe that when we die our souls go up on the roof
A sketchy guy just came into my shop and bought six smoke machines. I called the cops because I think he must be a part of...
...some extreme mist group.
You know, people tell me organ meat is offal...
But personally I think German meats are the wurst.
Did you hear about the shooting at a law school?
Everyone stopped the cops from going in until the job was done
A White American Man is sitting in a bar
He is suddenly transported to another world. He looks around and realizes that he is surrounded by his ancestors. He heads over to a man in a top hat and monocle and asks, “Who are you?” The man looks at him and says “Well, I am your English ancestor.” The American than asks “What aspect of my personality is from you?” The Englishman than answers, “Well I gave you my good English manors!” The American than thanks him. He than sees a man with a bushy mustache and asks who he is. “We’ll I am your Italian ancestor,” the mustached man says, “and I gave you the ability to cook. Just like Italy your cooking is superior to all others.” The American thanks him. The American than sees a man and approaches him and asks “Where are you from?” The man than replies, “Well I’m from Ireland.” The confused American says, “Wait I’m not part Irish.” The Irishman laughs and says “Well you were in a bar and started seeing ghosts, so you must be Irish.”
Yesterday, my girlfriend advised me to stop talking to my imaginary friends. So, i agreed.
Today she left me...