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A man and a woman were going to marry
but tragedy struck, and the couple were murdered right before the love struck idiots could marry. The couple went to heaven after their demise. They asked an angel if they could marry in heaven, the angel said that he would go check and he went away for ten months. The couple waited patiently for the angel but during the time they waited they asked each other what would happen if the marriage failed so they decided that when the angel came back, they would ask him if they could divorce in heaven. He came back and tol that they could get married, they thanked him and then asked him if they could divorce in heaven. The angel got mad and started insulting them. When the couple asked why he was so pissed, he responded that it was already a pain in the ass to find a priest, so imagine the pain it would be to find a lawyer.
I want to make some strangers on the internet unreasonably angry today…
… but first I need to put my Japanese chef knives in the dishwasher.
I remember my uncle giving me my first talk about the birds & the bees.
He said - "Bees make honey & birds lay eggs.
The Donald Trump Presidential Library burned down last week.
Sadly, both books were lost, and one of them had just barely been coloured in.
I’m a real good cook, and I’d love to date a bisexual man
Not because I want a threesome; I just want to toss a good fruit salad.
What has a pelican, an ostrich, and the IRS all got in common?
They can all shove there bills up there backside.
Noisy uncle and unemployed due
Uncle - What do you do? Dude- I am a writter. Uncle- What do you write? Any book you have written so far( smirk smile) Dude- Mind your own business.
What is the sweet which was attacked by the military called?
A salted caramel cake. Credit goes to a friend, I just helped with formatting.