The funniest jokes the internet has to offer.
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Two elderly women were out driving in a large car
Two elderly women were out driving in a large car. Both could barely see over the dashboard. As they were cruising along they came to an intersection. The stoplight was red but they just went on through. The woman in the passenger seat thought to herself: “I must be losing it, I could have sworn we just went through a red light.” After a few more minutes they came to another intersection and the light was red and once again they went right though. This time the woman in the passenger seat was almost sure that the light had been red but was really concerned that she was wrong. She was getting nervous and decided to pay very close attention to the road and the next intersection to see what was going on. At the next intersection, sure enough, the light was definitely red and they went right through and she turned to the other woman and said: “Mildred! Did you know we just ran through three red lights in a row! You could have killed us!” Mildred turned to her and said: “Oh, am I driving?”
Why is it impossible to park your boat in two places at once?
Because that would require a pair a docks.
What do you call a sailor who likes to get tied up and gagged during sex?
A submarine
Controversial to popular belief there are three rings involved with marriage.
First there is the engagement ring to prove your love for your partner. Second there is the wedding ring to prove your eternal love and devotion. And thirdly, there is ring that everyone wears after the honeymoon phase is over that is the suffering.
What did the dyslexic redditor say when they stepped in a pile of shit?
What did the dyslexic redditor say when they stepped in a pile of shit? THIS!
Which astrological sign do you guys think is the best?
Personally I think Aries is the GOAT.
How do you avoid a sharp pain in your eye while drinking chocolate milk?
Take the spoon out of the glass.