The funniest jokes the internet has to offer.

Why do the Irish make the best hippies?

They already have their lucky charms

What do you call a person who only dates older people?

A grave robber.

what kind of pasta does a cow eat?

moodles

Cosmological loser

n. A person who is a waste of both space and time. .

Sarah asks Suzy if she has a crush

Suzy replies “I have a crush on a guy from school” Sarah says “or really do you go to Stevens High School too?” Suzy says “no I’m home schooled”

A captain notices a light in the distance, on a collision course with his ship.

He turns on his signal lamp and sends, “Change your course, 10 degrees west.” The light signals back, “Change yours, 10 degrees east.” The captain gets a little annoyed. He signals, “I’m a US Navy captain. You must change your course, sir.” The light signals back, “I’m a Seaman First Class. You must change your course, sir.” Now the captain is mad. He signals, “I’m an aircraft carrier. I’m not changing my course.” The light signals back a final message: “I’m a lighthouse. Your call.”

How do you call someone who tells prophecies?

Prophesseur.

We all know Theresa May as a politician. But nobody talks about her degenerate-creating sister from Japan…

Annie May

A joke one of my 8/yo students told me today…

What’s the opposite of school? …online school!

why women fights are called cat fights?

They have pussy bro!

Why did the girl not want to date the communist?

He was waving a lot of red flags.

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs lying beside a hole?

Doug

What crime did the cheap condom commit?

Breaking and entering