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The funniest jokes the internet has to offer.

New at better-not-say-it.com: Our hot joke section. Have fun laughing with our sensationally funny jokes:


What do marble countertops hate the most?

Being taken for granite.

The US got knocked out in the World Cup on day 13!!!

Its their fastest exit from the middle east!!!

I made this one up myself... What sound does a witch make when it speeds past you on the highway ?

BRVOOM BRVOOM!!!

did you hear the one about the four Spaniards that drowned?

Quatro sinko!

Time flies when your having fun.

If not, weigh spiders.

Kanye has done the impossible

He made a Kardashian seem like the normal one

...What do you call a Mexican with a rubber toe?

Roberto!

What do you call a hen that counts her own eggs?

A Mathmachicken. My kid told me that and it made me chuckle.

What did the football player say after his match, where his team scored zero goals?

Iran

Vaccines and autism

A lot of scientists are on the autism spectrum. In any case a significantly larger percentage than in the general population. Scientists create vaccines. Therefore autism causes vaccines. They almost had it right.

Why were the cannibals so excited about going to the Margaritaville resort?

They were looking forward to dining on the ..."Buffet"

Why do conspiracy theorists think the media are full of pedophiles?

Because they mass debate in public.

[OFFENSIVE HUMOR] An african-american man walks into the bar with a parrot perched on his shoulder.

The bartender exclaims:”Wow, you don’t see that nowadays, where did you get that from?” The parrot replies:”From the jungle nearby.”

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