The funniest jokes the internet has to offer.
New at better-not-say-it.com: Our hot joke section. Have fun laughing with our sensationally funny jokes:
My best friend and I were both born on 4/20.
We always have a joint birthday party.
I Asked A Kentucky Friend Of Mine How Many Sexual Partners He Had Had
He closed his eyes and started counting, then he fell asleep.
I tried cutting wood by just looking at it, and it worked!
I saw it with my own two eyes
A father explains consent to his teenage child
And he says, “Always listen to your intuition, and never do something you don’t feel comfortable doing”. The teenager replies, “But what if it’s doing something I don’t want to do for someone I care about?” The father responds, “I don’t care if it’s the Dalai Lama who’s asking!”
An early easter joke
A pious man once encountered Jesus Christ and asked, "Lord, what is it that you desire from me?" The messiah replied, "Follow me." Together, they embarked on a journey that led them across a plain for two days. The man, curious about their pilgrimage, asked, "Master, where are you taking me?" To which Jesus replied, "Follow me." They continued on for three more days, walking through a dense forest. The man, becoming tired and weary, inquired again, "Master, where are we headed?" Jesus simply replied, "Follow me." Eventually, they arrived at the base of a mountain so high that it was shrouded in clouds and snow. Jesus began to climb, and the man followed despite suffering from altitude sickness, exhaustion, and frostbite. Four days later, they finally reached the summit, and the man asked with anticipation, "Master, what pilgrimage have you brought me on?" Jesus pointed in the distance and said, ​ "You can see my house from here!"
"I hold you in contempt" says the Judge
Therefore I recuse myself for an impartial judge.