The funniest jokes the internet has to offer.
New at better-not-say-it.com: Our hot joke section. Have fun laughing with our sensationally funny jokes:
My dick was just in the Guinness book of world records
Until the librarian told me to take it out
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To go to McDonald’s to buy a McNugget for it’s friends
Guy watches his dog play video games and is low on health. What does the owner say to the dog?
Heal boy, heal!
Did you hear about the cheese who works out?
Did you hear about the cheese who works out? It was shredded.
Three nuns and the Head Priest
Three nuns are talking and the first nun says, “You would never believe what I discovered.” Intrigued, the others signal her to continue. " Last week I found a smartphone in the Head Priest’s room." said the first nun. “Oh that’s nothing. Two weeks ago, I found condoms in one of his drawers,“ said the second one. " And what did you do with them?" asked the first nun. Pridefully the second nun responds with," I poked holes in every single one of them" to which the third nun exclaims, “oh shit!!“
Heating bills keep going up so I crossed a sheep with a kangaroo.
To make a wooly jumper.
Guys, stop with the 911 jokes, my dad died in it.
He was the best pilot in the Middle East.
What did the 12 year old hillbilly girl say when she lost her virginity?
Get off me Dad, you’re crushing my smokes.
Long ago, when Reddit was not yet a website but merely a small Kingdom,
There was a tournament for knights. From all over the kingdoms, knights came to show their prowess. In front of enormous crowds the knights would do their most daring feats of swordplay, showing astounding skill and exemplary control of their weaponry. All except one knight, who consistently did the same, boring move over and over again. He won his way up through the tournament ranks and the crowds inexplicably cheered harder for his simple move of parrying and opponents blow and quickly striking in return. No flair, no glamour, and yet it produced more cheers than even the most flamboyant attacks. A confused Queen leaned over to her King, asking why the commoners seemed to love this boring swordplay over the exciting and daring moves of other knights. The King leaned over to her and said “Of course they prefer it my love, this is Reddit, and we all love ripostes!”
The other day, my wife asked me to pass her lipstick but I accidentally passed her a glue stick.
She still isn’t talking to me.