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"One Chickadee"
There was a bird shelter in Britain, where people would look at many different birds. The bird shelter had a sign near it, saying, "One Chickadee". It meant only one chickadee was in the shelter, but people understood it way differently. Usually, a man would get naked, and a woman would suck on his dick. You see... people thought the sign meant, "one chick a D" This bird shelter had to be closed for "constant sexual activity".
Desert Island
Three guys and a girl are stranded on a desert island. After two weeks on the island, the girl is so ashamed of what she is doing she kills herself. Two weeks after that, the guys are ashamed of what they are doing they bury her. Two weeks after that, the guys are so ashamed of what they are doing they dig her up.
I wasted a whole semester on an elective that had exactly zero women exposing their breasts
I was expecting more from flash photography
BREAKING NEWS from the courtroom! Amber Heard confesses to having a child with Charlie Sheen. The child went to live with his father and took his name.
Both parents agreed the child should be sheen and not heard.
Why does Putin hate women?
He dreams of touching Dnieper but keeps getting shut down.
Why wasn’t the Nazi canine corp convicted of war crimes?
They were just following odors.
Three young siblings are spensing their 7th, 9th and 10th Eids
On the night before their mother promised them that she’d cook a chocolate cake like every eid but they must never touch it until tomorrow, and because she will never trust them, not in a million lifetimes, she’d hide it from them. They start scheming to get ahold of it to eat it fresh and hot. The youngest brother asks the eldest: “how are we going to find it this time” he said “we could never find it before”. To which the eldest brother replied with the same words he’s said for seven, being as sure as he should be every Eid and rather very optimistic: “Piece of Cake” Eid Mubarak y’all!
Hey yo!
Don’t bite the hands that’s feeds you. Last time I let that happen, they got a 5 finger discount! -by the way
A man at a table in a restaurant suddenly starts to cry. The worried waiter asks, “Why are you crying?”
Man: “My wife said she won’t talk with me for a month.” Waiter : “That’s terrible.” Man: “Yes, the month ends today.”
Some of my friends loved the game Battleship while the others absolutely hated it.
It was…hit or miss.
My friend ask me,"Has your son decided what he wants to be when he grows up?"
Yes, he wants to be a garbage collector," he replies. My friend says "Strange ambition to have for a career." "Well, he thinks that garbage collectors only work on Tuesdays!"