The funniest jokes the internet has to offer.

Why does snoop dogg use an unmbrella ?

Fo Drizzle

Bank Robbery

A couple walked in naked into a bank and robbed all the money. After they came out the bank, they started dressing up and the lady ask why did we go in naked. The man replies, "Well everyone would have their attention down there and no one would look up. So no one would have look at our faces."

How do you do the hokey pokey if you’re a millipede?

You put your right foot in, You put your right foot in, You put your right foot in, You put your right foot in, You put your right foot in, You put your right foot in, You put your right foot in, You put your right foot in, You put your right foot in…

"The human brain is constantly rewiring itself as it learns new things and adapts to change."

the conservatives must have the brains of goldfish

Why doesn‘t flash have a girlfriend?

Because he’s the fastest man in the world.

What did Sally Ride say to her husband before launch?

That she needed some space.

Why did Dwayne Johnson never lose in the hand game against Julius?

Rock beats Caesars.

69ing is now called 96ing

The price of eating out has gone up

When a Woman Complained to Her Grocer...

about a high priced jar of pickles, she was told that the reason was because of the pickle juice. Dill water runs steep.

Warning: nsfl /nsfw joke

What does a colony of Emos and a Walmart have in common? Plenty of hangers. What’s the difference? Some of them are fresh.

who cooks in a lesbian relationship?

Neither, they just eat out.

What does a red apron protect you from?

Ladiation.

I was ROBBED at the gas station last night. Took everything! When the police arrived and asked me who did it…

I told them pump #9