The funniest jokes the internet has to offer.
New at better-not-say-it.com: Our hot joke section. Have fun laughing with our sensationally funny jokes:
A man with a penguin standing on his head goes to the doctor.
The doctor says, "What seems to be the trouble, sir?" The penguin replies, "Well doc, it started as a growth on my foot.
The Ides of March Special
Original recipe, all credit to me. Ingredients: 1 penis-shaped potato 2-4 ounces caesar dressing Process: Cover potato in caesar dressing Stab 31 times with a knife Enjoy!
Three guys and a girl are marooned on a desert island.
After one week, the girl is so ashamed of what she’s doing, that she kills herself. After another week, the guys are so ashamed of what they’re doing, that they bury her. After another week, they’re so ashamed of what they’re doing, that they dig her up again.
What is the hardest part of being a vegetarian?
Eating vegetables. ...What is the hardest part of eating a vegetable? The wheelchair.
true story
I stopped by my local Chevy Dealership this morning to look for a new truck. I saw a nice Silverado 1500 loaded with all the options that I liked and asked to take it for a test drive. The salesperson (a lady wearing a Biden for President lapel pin) sat in the passenger seat next to me, describing the truck and all its options. She explained that the Electric Seats were connected to the ventilation system and could be set to direct cool air to your butt in the summer & warm air to your butt in the winter. So I mentioned that this must be a "Trump truck". She looked at me a bit angry, and asked why I thought it was a Trump truck. I told her that if it were a Biden truck, the seats would just blow smoke up my ass year round. The two mile walk back to the dealership to pick up my truck was worth it.
What do a butthole and a 9v battery have in common?
We know we shouldn’t put our tongue on it but we do it anyway. (rim shot…no pun intended)
so I was using the bathroom, and after I was done I looked in the toilet
Needless to say, I SAW SOME SHIT
ME: honey WHY are you putting talcum powder in my shorts????
WIFE: it’s not talcum powder it’s Miracle Grow
What’s something you can say during sex and at a drive through window?
CAN YA PLEASE PASS THE JELLY?