The funniest jokes the internet has to offer.

Where do you buy anti-fart medicine?

At the defartment store.

What did the leper look for in a woman?

His penis

sapiosexuals be like

“oh yeah bro i love it when she gives me head”

What do you call it when a pregnant woman gets hit by a bus?

A baby shower. Bonus: what do you call it when a pregnant woman gets hit by a car? A gender reveal.

What happened to Lizzie Borden’s parents?

They were hacked

There’s a basin knocking at your door

Let that sink in

In school i hed learned three things:

Reeding and caunting.

I was looking at the mirror and suddenly I started crying

You could say that I was reflecting on my life.

how do you tell the difference between a rectal and oral thermometer?

The flavor.

What do androids take when they have a cough?

Robotussin.

What is a teenager under stress called?

A teenager

First day as an undertaker

A brand new undertaker walks into a bar and orders a beer. "How was the first day on the job?" the bartender asks. "Not good. Had my first funeral today and I managed to drop the casket as I was loading it into the car," the undertaker says. "Luckily my boss was understanding. He told me I just need to rehearse it."

Did you hear about the guy from Green Day?

I heard in the end he moved to faggot America.