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Royal Flush

Since its been 25 years since the untimely demise of Princess Diana I thought a joke may be appropriate or NOT. Anyway here goes: A high stakes poker tournament was down to the final two players, Lady Di and Dolly Parton. In exasperation at her poor hand, Dolly Parton lowers her top and gives the crowd an eyeful of her ample breasts, not to be outdone, Lady Di stands on the table, lifts her skirt and flashes the audience. The judges award Lady Di the pot, Dolly Parton completely perplexed questions this decision. The judges reply: A Royal Flash always beats two of a kind!

My Girlfriend

The other day my girlfriend told me she was a lesbian, once.... until it was her turn.

Why did the picture go to jail?

....because it was framed.

anderson cooper CNN

anderson cooper did a story on gender roles in Kabul, Afghanistan, several years before the Afghan conflict. He noted that women customarily walked 5 paces behind their husbands. He recently returned to Kabul and observed that women still walk behind their husbands. From his vantage point, despite the overthrow of the oppressive Taliban regime, the women now seem to walk even further back behind their husbands and are happy to maintain the old custom. He approached one of the Afghani women and asked, “Why do you now seem happy with the old custom that you once tried so desperately to change?” The woman looked him straight in the eyes and without hesitation said, “Land mines.”

Frank: Dave, I’m sorry to hear your uncle Oscar fell from a cliff. We’re you close?

Dave: close enough to give him a push

The World Health Organization has announced that dogs cannot contract Covid-19. Dogs previously held in quarantine can now be released.

To be clear, WHO let the dogs out.

I don’t know how women pass their drivers test. They can only turn left…

Since women don’t have rights.

What’s the deal with nocturnal bugs?

Wby are they so obsessed with lights? It’s like hello! The sun!

What tea tastes like milk?

Tit-tea

What do golfers scream in Mexico when they hit a stray ball at a crowd of bystanders?

Quatro

What’s a survivalist’s favorite soda?

Dr.Prepper

Why Does Dr Pepper Come In A Bottle?

his wife is dead

What do you call a stale box of Cheerios?

Cheeriolds.

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