The funniest jokes the internet has to offer.

The Kindergarten Cop is Arresting a Child

He sees the kid with a baked good, and thinking themselves to be in danger, shouts at them: "Put That Cookie Down NOW!"

My dad asked me, “What’s your favorite Pixar film?”

I said, “Up. Yours?” He said, “wow! Don’t be rude. It was just a question.”

What’s the difference between a blonde & a mosquito?

The mosquito stops sucking when you slap it

Did you hear about the guy who got kidnapped by a man in a kilt?

Fortunately, after some struggling he managed to break out of his wrist restraints and got away Scot free

What do elephants and Timex watches have in common?

They both come in quartz

I can tell you want Malone White.

Malone white dick in yo mouth

Another Joke from the Late Great Townes Van Zandt.

I used to be addicted to airplane glue. It got so bad that I overdosed on it four or five times and had to got the hospital. The doctor leaned over me, put a flashlight in my eyes and said, “Son, are you hooked on airplane glue?” And I said, “Nah man, I’m stuck.”

A white supremacist, a crazy black man, and an ex-president walk into a bar. What do you call it?

American politics in the 21st century.

What do you call a magician who lost their magic?

Ian

Not all cheeses are made the same.

In fact, edam is made backwards!

What’s Mozart’s current occupation?

Decomposer

I have no respect for those in wheel chairs who remain silent when people make fun of their disability

Stand up for yourself!

James T Kirk used to talk to the ship’s computer while he was taking a dump.

“Captain’s log, stardate…