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Why was 7 afraid of i?
Nobody knows for sure, but everyone thinks his fear is only imaginary
What did the hurricane say to the coconut tree?
Hold on to your nuts; this ain’t no ordinary blow job.
My wife just stopped and said “you weren’t even listening were you?”
I thought “that’s a weird way to start a conversation.“
Confession at Church.
Frederick was the maintenance man at a Catholic church. One day the priest called him in. “Frederick, I must go to the hospital to perform the Last Rites for a long-time parishioner. I can’t just close the church because Mrs. Jones is coming to confession. She never does anything bad, so after she confesses her sins give her a few prayers as penance and send her on her way. Here’s my spare cassock. Have fun!” Frederick put on the cassock and got into the priest’s side of the confessional. Mrs. Jones entered. “Bless me father for I have sinned. I was with a man last night.” “Go on, my child.” “He took me back to his house.” “Please continue, my child.” “We began to kiss, and eventually I performed oral sex on him.” “Please wait. This is a very serious sin. I must have time to think about your penance.” Frederick left the confessional and went to an open window. He spots a young boy outside pulling weeds. “Hey kid! What does the father give for a blowjob?” “A Snickers bar and a Coke.
Vladimir Putin is crossing the border into Ukraine …
The customs agent asks him: “So what is your purpose of travel. Leisure? Vacation?” Putin replies: “No, only for my occupation.”
I was so angry at my mom I called her dumb and stormed off to my room
Which made things awkward considering we’re kangaroos
The longest movie ever made is Once Upon a Time in Hollywood
It wins by several feet