The funniest jokes the internet has to offer.

How do you make a cat go “woof”?

Dip it in gasoline and throw it in a fire.

Jesus was the very first MMORPG hacker

One of his most famous miracles was just an item duplication exploit

Why did the tomato turn red?

The tomato turned red because it was ripening. When a tomato is ripe, it changes color from green to red (or yellow or orange, depending on the variety), indicating that it is ready to be harvested and eaten. This is because ripe tomatoes contain more sugar and are generally sweeter and more flavorful than unripe tomatoes.

All creative people I just punched open a thing of yogurt

Now make a joke about that. It was one of those paper things underneath the lids that you remove when you first open it, that’s what I punched.

What weighs more, a ton of bricks or a ton of feathers?

The ton of feathers because you have to live with the weight of what you did to those poor birds.

What do you call a Greek cat?

Psiamese

So a General wanted to see why his joint units were having trouble getting along...

So he tasked each of the Commanding Officers to draft a plan to secure a building. The Marine Corps Officer wanted to destroy the building. The Army Officer wanted to set up a perimeter. The Navy Officer wanted to paint the building. And the Air Force Officer wanted to take out a lease with an option to buy.

A man walks into a therapist’s office wearing nothing but Seran Wrap.

Therapist looks up & says I can clearly see your nuts!!

What do pigs like to listen to?

HAM radio

Why did the chicken die crossing the road?

To get to the other side.

I just watched a documentary on marijuana.

I think all documentaries should be watched this way.

what so you call it when a Mexican man masturbates?

El Pollo Choke-o

Why is DID community so over represented on social media

ALTERnative accounts