The funniest jokes the internet has to offer.
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Why are you always watching other people play video games on Twitch son? Sounds boring.
Anyway, gotta catch the football game on TV.
Johnny lives in a society...
Johnny asks his dad how a country runs. His dad thinks and replies, ‘Well, it’s like this. I earn the money in the house, so I’m the rich. Your mom takes care of running the home, so she is the government. The maid is the working class, and your baby brother is the future. And finally you Johnny, are the average citizen.’ That night Johnny is woken up by his baby brother’s cries. He goes to the crib and notices that his brother has soiled his diapers. He runs to his mom and finds her fast asleep. He then goes to the maid’s room and finds her in bed with his father. He returns to his bed. The next day Johnny tells his dad that he has the working of a country all figured out. His dad asks him to explain. “A country is where an average citizen can’t get proper sleep, as the rich are fucking the working class, the government is fast asleep and the future is all shitty,” Johnny explains.
I went to the store today to but a candle holder. they dis not have any
So I bought a cake.
I confronted my housekeeper after she lied about servicing my house.
I just wanted her to come clean.
Japan is such a weird interesting country
Apparently they still use Internet Explorer over there
Did you hear about the group of dyslexic devil worshippers?
They all sold their souls to santa
If you think your husband or wife is your best friend than think about this.
If you lock them and your dog in your trunk for 3 hours. Who do you think is going to be happy to see you when you open the trunk.
A father and his son have a conversation…
Son: “Dad, why did mom name my sister rose?” Dad: “Because your mother loves roses.” Son: “Oh, okay. Thanks dad.” Dad: “Not a problem Richard.”