The funniest jokes the internet has to offer.
New at better-not-say-it.com: Our hot joke section. Have fun laughing with our sensationally funny jokes:
People these days think all kids in the 90s listened to boomboxes.
That’s just a stereotype.
The best part about being Russian, is getting to vote in American elections.
Which is nice, because we never get to vote in our own.
What does Terry Fox and Adolf Hitler have in common?
They both couldn’t finish the race
I knew a guy who always turned up to to gatherings right on time
I think his name was Justin Thyme.
I went to a kleptomaniacs anonymous meeting last night..
I went to grab a chair but they were already taken.
I don’t know what’s worse… that I found my wife on a sex hook up app
Or that it was on Grindr?
A man with one hand walks into a thrift shop
He approaches and greets the cashier, and asks if he can make an appointment. The cashier says "sir, this is a thrift shop" He looks at her confused for a moment, but then realises his mistake. "Oh, my apologies, I was told this was a second hand shop"
I tried to donate to a wounded vets organization.
But with inflation, they just wanted too much. They were asking for an arm and a leg.
For all baseball fans enjoying the 2022 Fall Classic....
Two friends have loved each other, and attended countless ballgames located all over the world, and enjoyed excellent baseball moments together Decades passed, and one of the two buddies became terribly ill. It was time for one of the two friends to sleep peacefully for eternity. The remaining friend asked him " Listen, I am wondering if there is baseball in Heaven. After you go to Heaven, see if there is baseball in Heaven, and come and visit me in my dream, and tell me if there is baseball in Heaven " " Oh my pleasure buddy. I sure will " A few more days later, the ailing friend finally went to Heaven. A few weeks later, the remaining friend was sleeping, and he received a visit from his old friend in his dream " Oh it is you buddy!! It is so wonderful to see you!! " " I do miss you too as well buddy " " So did you get to find out if there is baseball in Heaven? " " Well I have a good news and a bad news " " Tell me I am very ready and eager to know " " The good news is, yes old friend there is an active and exciting baseball league in Heaven " " Fantastic!! but what is the bad news? " " You are pitching next Saturday "
English is funny
Psychiatrist - p is silent Tsunami - t is silent Knowledge - k is silent Wife - husband is silent
Two brothers from Mongolia opened up this place selling camel’s milk.
Two brothers from Mongolia opened up this place selling camel’s milk. They brought their own camels, all the way from Mongolia. I was interested, so I paid them a visit. They happened to be milking the camels when I came in. It wasn’t what I expected. Bilguun cried out, “Jargal, oh my brother Jargal, please, please take this bucket of milk, for it is a precious gift to us and our customers, so I bid you, I beg you, I beseech you, spill not a drop.” Jargal fell on his knees and beat his breast. He said, “Son of my mother, I will do that for you, Bilguun, as surely as the sun rises in the east.” Bilguun replied, “Alas and alack, my kinsman, our days on this sweet earth are numbered, as surely as the pages of a book.” At this, they fell into each others’ arms weeping. I was totally befuddled. I asked, “What on earth is going on?” Jargal got to his feet, casually brushed off his knees, and pointed to the stalls of camels. “Don’t you know? This is a drama dairy.”
If your workplace requires password changes every 90 days...
...Just set it to the name of the current UK Prime minister and you should be fine.