The funniest jokes the internet has to offer.
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Sony has released a new car brand, Afeela. The first model is the Ifeelya.
Bill Cosby is going to be the spokes-person.
A local joke from my country
So Bill works for the secret services and gets sent to Russia to spy on them. Eventually he got caught and the Russians start torturing him in order to get the nuclear missile codes of Bill’s country. Bill shows incredible strength and integrity and doesn’t say a word. The Russia are impressed with Bill, and eventually they decide to send him back home. After his arrival, Bill’s colleagues ask him about his mission in Russia, to which Bill replies: “Y’all better start learning those codes, dudes, cus if they catch you that you don’t know them, they’ll beat the living shit out of you!”
How do you tell the difference between a chemist and a union worker?
Ask them to pronounce the word “unionized”
Three roommates were getting ready to go on dates
The first guy says, “Boys, my date’s name is Kissy, so I’m at least getting to make out with her tonight!” The second guy says, “By that logic, I’m getting way more than that! My date’s name is Kitty, so I’m getting some pussy tonight!” They both laughed until they saw the third roommate with a panicked look in his eyes. “My date’s name is Peggy.”
What is the difference between 69 and a ballot paper ?
In 69 you have to look at only one asshole.
A noun is another word for a name….
Shin: A body part or device for finding objects/furniture in the middle of the dark when it’s pitch black and you cannot see
What do you call a snobby criminal walking down the steps?
A condescending con descending.
I got fired from my job at the sperm bank.
Every time someone walked in, I said “Get a load of this guy…”