The funniest jokes the internet has to offer.
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Husband and wife go through tough times…
A husband confronts his wife about their financial situation…. Husband: “We’re broke, dear. We need to somehow make money fast…you might have to do some things you’ve never thought you’d have to do…” The wife nods in agreement. She knows what needs to be done The next day she goes out to prostitute herself as it is their last resort to make money. She spends the whole day on the street, and comes home late that evening… Husband: “Honey! My goodness you’re finally home! So, how much did you make??” Wife: “$250.50” Husband: “That’s great! But what asshole paid you $0.50???” Wife: All of them.
What did last nights test result between India and Australia prove?
the only time the Aussies aren’t a rabble on the sub-continent is when we’re playing Indore cricket
Who gave the famous “I Have a Dream” speech?
Some dude or whatever. Who cares? It’s not February anymore.
An emo and a leaf fall from the tree, who hits the ground first?
The leaf, the rope stopped the emo
What do you call when a Chinese candidate loses votes because of a false sex scandal?
>!Erection fraud.!<
An actual joke that was told by Jews during World War II
An SS man says to a Jew in a concentration camp: "You are to be killed today, but I will give you a chance. One of my eyes is a glass eye. If you can guess which one it is, I will give you your life." The Jew looks at the SS man and says, "The left one, Herr Corporal." "That is correct. How did you recognize it?" "Because it looks so human."
With the help of my wife I am officially a millionaire.
Before I met her I was a billionaire.