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One day 3 immigrants
One day 3 immigrants were sitting in a bar: A Syrian, an Afghan and a Turkish The Syrian finishes his beer, throws the glass in the air and shoots it with his gun. As pieces of glass are raining on them he says "In Syria glasses were so cheap that we never drank from the same glass twice" Then the Afghan finishes his beer, throws the glass in the air and shoots it with his gun. Again, as the shattered glass is falling he says: "In Afghanistan we had so much sand. We made glasses with the sand, so we never drank from the same glass again". Finally the Turkish guy finishes his beer and throws his glass in the air, before he can say anything the bartender shoots all three of them and says "we have so many immigrants here in Germany that we dont have to serve them twice"
A lady comes home from her doctors appointment grinning from ear to ear
Her husband asks, “Why are you so happy?” The wife says, “The doctor told me that for a forty-five year old woman, I have the breasts of a eighteen year old.” “Oh yeah?” quipped her husband, “What did he say about your forty-five year old ass?” She said, “Your name never came up in the conversation.”
I asked a girl to go to the gym with me for our first date, and she didn’t show up
I guess we’re not going to work out
Why do the priesthood like the butthole so much?
Because its the holiest of the holes.
How many Christians does it take to convince a Christian to read their Bible? (Asking for a Friend.)
One.
What is the name of the Shire that Gollum is from in Lord of the Rings?
The Worcestershire