The funniest jokes the internet has to offer.
New at better-not-say-it.com: Our hot joke section. Have fun laughing with our sensationally funny jokes:
My girlfriend borrowed $100 from me. After 3years, when we separated, she returned exactly $100.
I lost Interest in that relationship.
I complained to subway their foot long sandwich is less than 12 inches
And they told me their footlong sandwich to customized to the length of my feet, and if my foot is less than 12 inches then I have nothing to complain about. Dang! I hope the Bigfoot come to their store tomorrow.
(TW! Incoming Dad joke!) My wife sent me to the store to get 6 cans of Sprite…
When I got home, I realized I picked 7UP.
The Admiral and the Master Chief
An Admiral and a Master Chief were walking the base one day and they decided to get their haircut before they went to lunch. Coincidentally, they both got in the chair at the same time and were finished within moments of each other. At the end of the service, the barber started to apply powder to the back of the Admiral’s neck. The Admiral says, “Don’t put any of that crap on me, I don’t want my wife thinking I was in a French whore house!” The Master Chief says, “Don’t worry about me, my wife doesn’t know what the inside of a French whore house smells like.”
Why do you say cheese when taking a picture?
Because your dad never came back with the milk.
Did you hear that Selena Kyle put on 150 pounds?
She went from Catwoman to Kit-Kat woman.
Why did Noah have so much difficulty fishing on the ark?
He only brought two worms.
Cats and dogs
Dog: “They feed me. They care for me. They love me. They must be gods!” Cat: “They feed me. They care for me. They love me. I must be a god!”
How many Ukrainians does it take to change a lightbulb?
No. I’m seriously asking. Please reply with your best one.
WARNING that jokes sucks more than a 2012 zelmer vacuum
what instrument does a fisherman play? a bass guitar.