The funniest jokes the internet has to offer.

Why do golfer wear two pairs of pants?

In case they get a hole in one.

Objection, Lack of Foundation

Says the lawyer when Amber Heard comes in with a visible bruise not covered by makeup.

I gave a lady behind the dumpster 100 bucks

all I got from her was a bottle of water and a pencil lead. I guess her conception of meth & anal was different.

What did a cold particle say to its hot partner?

You excite me!

Yo mama

Your mamas sexual organs are so large you could use her vibrator to jumpstart a car.

If I was payed daily by my job

I would see a ho every day

A man told his friend "My girl friend said picking my nose is disgusting" "So what, answered his friend"

The man answered "Now I have to do it myself"

I drank to forget you.

Unfortunately now I see you double.

Did you know most men have three knees

The left knee, the right knee and the weinee

I was trying to apply the power rules to my new boyfriend.

So I took him down an exponent then thurst forward tangent to his curves!

i hate thanks Obama post

Get this straight Obama made jokes. Trump is a joke. It means Obama made Trump. Oh shit... Thanks Obama PS. No offense to anyone. Take it lightly

Crimea River Ukrainians?

I said Crimea river Ukrainians. What is wrong with that?

Dude explaining how he made his first $10 million:

Get up at 5:00AM every day 90 minutes of cardio Take a cold shower Journal Schedule out your day Dad owns Fortune 500 company Meditate