The funniest jokes the internet has to offer.
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three dogs...
... an American dog, a Polish dog and a Russian dog were talking. The American dog said "whenever I want meat I just bark." The Polish dog said "what is meat?" The Russian dog said "what is bark?" (told by Ronnie Reagan a few decades ago...)
I won $1M in the lottery
I gave a quarter of it to charity, and put the other $999,999.75 in the bank.
A man goes to McDonalds
He drives into the McDonalds drive through and talks to the person taking orders, he says I wanted to report that there is a homeless man outside saying if you buy him a Big Mac and A large coke he will give you head. Then he says “anyways I’ll take a Big Mac and A large coke”
Your mom is so dumb,
She thought the Encyclopedia Brittanica struck an iceberg and sank
Whizzinator
An African American man goes to a store that sells Wizzinators (prosthetic penis with a pee pouch, used to pass a pee test) The salesperson shows him a white skinned Wizzinator and tells him, this is all we have in stock Customer: That’s never going to work! Salesperson: I’ll throw in some black shoe polish, no one will know the difference. Customer: okay, I’ll take 3, can you throw in something I can use to fasten them together?
I asked a German how to say nice to meet you in his language.
In a heavy accent he said we don’t say such things.