The funniest jokes the internet has to offer.
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What is the difference between the IRS and the Mafia?
The Mafia at least gives you protection when you pay.
The museum planned a special exhibit to show off their collection [Long]
The museum planned a special exhibit to show off the collection. They had a wide array of historical music instruments from as far back as the 16th century. The museum planned to arrange a concert with a harpsichord that belonged to Bach and a violin that belonged to Vivaldi, among many other instruments. The archivist began to prepare for the concert, but she realized that many of the instruments were in no condition to be played. The harpsichord was out of tune and the violin had a crack in the neck. There was a lute with broken strings and an oboe that needed new reeds. There were so many instruments in need of repair the archivist wasn’t sure she could get them all fixed before the concert. She brought in an expert who specialized in instrument repair. He asked for some guidance, as to which instruments he should start with. Should he start with the harpsichord or the cello or the old timpani? The archivist was very clear: If it ain’t Baroque, don’t fix it.
A redditor, a Twitter user and a discord mod walk into a bar
...atleast they WOULD...if they could fit their fat asses through the door.
Some American jokes
Smith went to the bank to get a mortgage. After it was done, the salesperson told him that it would be paid off in ten years. "Morning or afternoon ten years from now?" The salesperson looked up at him and asked, "Is there a difference between morning and afternoon ten years from now?" "I have to pay off my student loan in the morning." Feel free to share the jokes you know.
blonde goes to the doctor office
She is complaining her entire body hurts. The doctor asks her the point to where it hurts. The blonde starts touching all over her body wincing in pain every time. Doctor says "maam its not your body. You have a broken finger".
There is a fine line between the denominator and the numerator
Only a fraction of people will find this funny
A man walks into a bar
Jacob was always curious to learn more things in life. Everyday he went out and learnt something new: piano, football, dancing, skydiving... we could drag this list all down to the floor. One day, he got tired. And chose to walk into a bar. Have a drink... relax a bit. "One Martini please"
Why did SJWs like PAW Patrol: The Movie?
Because they got to see the police dog in emotional distress for a good chunk of the movie.