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When this war in Ukraine is over and Ukraine has retaken all its territory, they should rename the river separating Ukraine from Russia.
I think a better name would be the "Putin Crimea River"
A chemist goes to England for the first time
He walks into a crowded restaurant in the suburbs. He realizes he starts to get really hot, and as he wipes the sweat of his forehead he asks his waiter: “Why is it so humid in here?” The waiter responds “Lots of people have been moving from London recently, and everywhere is getting hotter from the body heat” It was at this moment that the chemist wished there were weaker London dispersion forces.
I once met a guy who claimed he had a MASSIVE penis
He called himself a “Weapon of ass destruction”
What do professional surfer dudes take when training for a competition?
"No whey" protein
Putin dies and goes to hell. He’s gets a day off for good behavior…
So he goes to Moscow, enters a bar, orders a drink and asks the bartender: -Is Crimea ours? -Yes, it is. -And the Donbas? -Also ours. -KViv? -We got that too. Satisfied, he drinks and asks: -Thanks. How much do I owe you? -5 euros.
A policeman in big city stops a man in a car
with a Siberian Lynx in the front seat. “What are you doing with that Siberian Lynx?” He exclaimed, “You should take it to the zoo.” The following week, the same policeman sees the same man with the cat again in the front seat, with both of them wearing sunglasses. The policeman pulls him over. “I thought you were going to take that cat to the zoo!” The man replied, “I did. We had such a good time we are going to the beach this weekend!”
Prince Charles decided to take up walking and everyday, at the same street corner, he would pass a hooker .
**He learned to brace himself as he approached her for what was almost certain to follow.** **“One hundred and fifty pounds!” she’d shout. “No! Five pounds!” he said from the side of his mouth, just to shut her up.** **This ritual between him and the hooker became a daily occurrence. She’d yell “One hundred and fifty pounds!” He’d yell back “Five pounds!”** **One day,** **Camilla decided to accompany her husband and as the couple neared the hooker’s corner he became even more apprehensive than usual. Sure enough, there she stood. He tried to avoid eye contact as she watched the pair pass.** **Then, the hooker yelled “See what you get for five pounds, you cheap bastard!**
I went to a Bakery this morning, and the girl at the counter called police on me and was arrested.
Because I ordered a CreamPie.